Lessons from the Celestine Donkor and Cookie Tee Interview 

The recent comments by Celestine Donkor and Cookie Tee of TV3 on some Ewe names in an interview have made lots of people uncomfortable, which is understandable. But the question is, are people angry because it was said on TV? The truth is that such unfortunate comments or statements have become a normal conversation in many homes in Ghana.

Many good people are looked down on and rejected as suitors on a daily basis because of their family names, tribe, family, appearance, height, education, colour of skin, or based on their accent. The sad part is that many people see nothing wrong with such behaviour.

There are singles who want to get married, but they are still single because their family and friends look down on their choice of spouse and won’t accept them. While others who are in a relationship or married do not appreciate or respect their spouse and look down on them due to what friends and family say about their spouse.

This ill behaviour or hostility is driven by preconceived and unfounded opinions. People mostly learn this behaviour from their family, home, or culture. That is why it is convincing for someone to say, “Don’t marry from a particular tribe or people with certain names.

What makes marriage work is not the name the person bears, the tribe they come from, their level of education, skin colour or height. This is why one is expected to date the person they want to marry so they have the opportunity to know them better and have a better experience with them before they agree to marry them. Marriage works because couples are willing to make it work.

No two individuals are the same when it comes to marriage. Every marriage or relationship is unique; it is wrong for you to conclude that a certain tribe or group of people are “bad” because of someone else’s experience with someone from such a tribe.

Love or beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one person’s meat is another man’s poison. What is good for you might not be good for others, so you don’t make decisions for others based on your personal experience or beliefs.

It’s okay if you don’t like someone, but it’s not okay when you look down on them, disrespect them, or make them feel bad. Ignore people who look down on you, disrespect you, or make you feel bad because you do not fit their choice of partner or spouse. Such a person is ignorant and has bad taste. Their ill behaviour is not a reflection of who you are, but a reflection of who they are. You cannot expect respect from a disrespectful person.

In conclusion, “For he who dislikes his brother is wandering in spiritual darkness and doesn’t know where he is going, for the darkness has made him blind so that he cannot see the way” – 1 John 2:11 (TLB).

– Frank Edem Adofoli
Counselor, ADR Practitioner, Conference Speaker, Author
CEO, The Marriage Consult LTD.
T. +233201435300.