“LET HIM DIE,” they said! He is 18 Today

“I am sorry, Mr. Dabbousi, at 5 months, your wife can still abort the pregnancy and you may start afresh,” the Gynecologist advised with a solemn face that foretold an impending disaster. “Your baby will be born paraplegic with two problems, spina bifida and hydrocephalus,” her voice crackled in an attempt to stifle her emotions. Of course, my wife froze at the news! I assured her that she would get all the necessary care with the baby, but abortion was not an option, which she had, also, decided not to give any consideration, almost, the minute she heard the news. I struggled to remain strong, though my hands trembled and my heart rested at my feet.

So, I flew her out to be with her parents in this difficult situation, which was the most humane thing to do given the circumstances. We, both, settled down and accepted to take this beautiful gift we were being blessed with. Of course, I had planned to follow up one week to delivery due to business constraints.

The days ticked by like the noisy chime of an old grandfather clock in the corridor of a deserted house that was haunted with screams and shrills, chilly, mouldy, and scary! The resonance grew louder, creating pandemonium in my unsettled soul. Time was fast approaching, and this big boy had to meet up with mother and soon-to-be-born first child. My wife was supposed to go into labour within ten days, so I reckoned being there seven days to the time would be convenient. Then I got a call, “She is in labour and would have to be c-sectioned, now!” I was on my way to Kumasi via Koforidua. I parked off the road to take in the news. Was it good or what? I was confused. Soon, I was on my way.

A nurse had sarcastically told his colleague, “Go in and see this mysterious baby!” Samih was born with a large head and an opening the size of his whole back. He was screaming uncontrollably. Finally, I arrived, and when he was put in my arms, he fell silent, almost immediately, and slept! A father’s love is an irreplaceable panacea! The journey of pain, laughter, and tears had just begun! First surgery was to close his back, followed, a couple of weeks later, by another to place a shant in his head. Bam, they were all successful, Alhamdulillah! Today he doesn’t look anywhere near as he did at birth.

From there onwards, the long serpentine road of living with two acute conditions started with love, love, and more love. I carried him around in a baby basket with a sense of pride. Of course, now the advice of many “well-wishers” poured in. Of all the words of encouragement, two preposterous statements stood out to be the most wicked rather. One said to give him up for experimentation to further develop the medical profession for the sake of humanity. The other said to leave the baby at the “hospital of mercy”, GOD knows what for! Maybe they wanted to smother him back to his CREATOR!

Soon he was four months old, not bouncy as anyone would expect, but, hey, he was my first child and I was willing to go to all extents to ensure he was taken good care of. So, an appointment at the Doctor’s could have been my first murder case. He looked me square in the face without any sense of empathy for parent and baby and said, “Sir, your baby will soon begin to have infections. Do not treat him! His body will shut down and he will succumb. GOD will give you another!” I stared at him in disbelief without batting an eye for what seemed to be the longest five minutes of my life. Silence echoed noisily in my head. I thought to myself, “Shall I drag him from behind his desk and hurl him out of the window?” I am, almost, certain that he cracked or soiled his pants looking at my emotionless face (in Ghana we term it, gbonyo face), because he did not get off his seat when we left. Surely, I managed to leave his office, but, only, after my holy part won the fierce battle in me.

Surgery upon surgery, of course spinal implants and more, Samih began his arduous journey, fearless and with a sense of acceptance that ALLAH creates what HE wills. By the way, he is a pious boy. We managed to enroll him in school, although, due to many factors, including the lack of provision for disability access, he soon had to remain at home where he got a measure of education. I want to give credit to his mother for the sleepless nights and relentless effort until this day, doing the unthinkable in ensuring that he stayed clean, fresh, and the wounds sterilised.

Once, Samih, now nine years old, and his mother were at a hospital. Guess who they accosted! Yessiree, the Doctor who had advised we let him die. My wife walked up to him, “Hello Dr!” “Hiiiiiiiii, he responded with a broad grin, are you here to see me?” He quizzed! “No, no, I just wanted to show you how big the little baby you wanted dead has grown,” she answered in a rather upped tone for everyone to hear. Well, he tucked his tail, oops sorry, coat I meant, between his legs and scurried off like an anxious rat.

Today, Samih turns 18. Happy birthday Son, you are the apple of my eye!

This is a message of encouragement to all those who are afflicted with one issue or the other not to fret. When GOD gives you a problem, HE, also, follows it up with a solution. The manner with which you handle HIS Ordinance will determine how soon you find the remedy. Just believe in HIM. Many people have such cases of child disability, but have not the courage and esteem to bring them out. I have had lots of interaction with schools to make education accessible to people with disability, but some, for propaganda purposes, take a child or two with no serious disability as a show of will to integrate physically challenged students. It is all a farce. To me, it is a canker, and, maybe, it is time to battle it.

Samih’s journey is just starting, but with ALLAH and his parents by his side, life is beginning to smile at him. Live long son! Happy Birthday!

By Fadi Dabbousi