Akufo-Addo wins Best Practices and Value for Money Sleeping Award for Ghana at Glasgow, Scotland

News reaching Navrongo Echoes, publishers of Navrongo Sawia Broadcasting, has it that Ghana has won the Sleeping Competition held on the sidelines of the ongoing CoP-26 Summit held at Glasgow, Scotland.

Akufo-Addo emerged the overall best of the coveted sleeping competition trophy with Joe Biden of the US as the first runner up, and Boris Johnson of the UK as the second runner up. According to referees who gave the score lines, Akufo-Addo showed exceptional skills at snoring and swinging his legs simultaneously whilst sleeping. He was also scored the best in protracted long sleep in a crowded noisy environment, where thunderous claps failed to distract him.

Meanwhile, about 40 members of Ghana’s delegation to the summit, mainly NPP activists and footsoldiers, were camped at Aberdeen, a three hours journey to Glasgow, venue of the summit. It was confusion galore as most of them could barely utter a word in English for the purposes of this interview. They mainly spoke Twi, Ghana’s emerging lingua franca.

John Boadu, the NPP General Secretary, who has now eclipsed the NPP Communications Team, embroiled in an intense feud between Yaw Buabeng Asamoah and Kojo Oppong Nkrumah, confirmed the news.

“The NPP has planned a rousing welcome to receive Ghana’s delegation to the CoP-26 Summit at Glasgow for winning the most coveted Sleeping Competition Award. Akufo-Addo emerged the overall best winner of the competition held at the sidelines of the summit, beating his two main contenders from the UK and the USA, for the Best Practices and Value for Money trophy,” John Boadu said in a press conference held at the NPP headquarters, Kokomlemle, where Hajia Fati slapped a Miltimedia news reporter with Adom FM.

In 2016, the NPP headquarters became a bloody scene as loyalists of Akufo-Addo, the Invisible Forces, besieged the party headquarters in rambo-style armed with machetes and assault rifles. A combined team of the military and police in a joint operation retrieved 14 AK 47 rifles and 20 sack-loads of machetes numbering about 800 pieces.

The security services picked intelligence, that several bus loads of NPP supporters of suspended NPP National Chairman Paul Afoko, Third National Vice Sammy Crabbe and General Secretary Kwabena Agyei Agyapong, mainly from the Ashanti Region, arrived at the party headquarters under the cover of darkness at 2am, to OccupyNPPHQ. Upon receiving the tip-off, a team of crack soldiers and men from the police were dispatched to the scene. No arrests were made.

“Also, the successful arrangement which managed to take along 40 NPP footsoldiers to cheer our sleeping leader, shows that the NPP government can deliver. Almost all of them, who visited Kumasi and Accra for the first time in their lifetime, heaped praises on the party when they arrived at Heathrow Airport, London. Everything was first time, including the opportunity to fly in an airplane and visiting the UK,” John Boadu added.

Reporting live from Glasgow, Scotland, this has been yours sincerely, Shmuel Ja’Mba Abm. Bye bye Ghanafuɔ.